I Quit Everyday... (Part 2)
Let me explain: I never want to come off as someone who has it all together. I really don’t. I just spent a lot of years putting myself down, so I’m very careful with how I talk about myself. And I was just asking a question as to how I can be and become all these things. I have always been told that I should be this Proverbs 31 woman.
Who is she you ask?
Well! She is a woman who:
-Is a woman of God
-Tends to her children
-Tends to her Husband
-Keeps her family looking cleanT
-Gives to the poor
-She knows what to say and when to say it
-Tends to her business in the marketplaces
-Has a beloved reputation
-Serves the Lord
-Favored with her Husband’s business associates
-Never has morning breath
-And keeps her appearance modest and beautiful
Ok. I may have exaggerated her a little but, she sounds soooo perfect right?
But how am I supposed to be her when I was always told but not taught? And I can’t say the same for all of you. Also, my mother is AMAZING. However, she was a single mother with 4 kids, my brothers required sooo much attention, and by the time she could focus on just me, I was too angry to appreciate her.
It’s a challenge. Yes I have help.... but. How to be her.....? (Proverbs 31)
I can honestly say I can check off 6, maybe 7 of those items up there, because I can be mean, I’m an introvert who has struggled with letting people in (I use to trust people to soon, so now I’m just weary all together), I’m still healing, I honestly don’t know if I even have a reputation (not that I’m concerned), I clean (I barely have to cook), I’m getting better at business, I’m a mom so I look how I look until there’s a meeting or an event or we go out. Let’s not even get started on the struggles of motherhood!
Here’s the truth about it. I really do quit everyday, because I try so hard everyday. I feel guilty all the time for wanting a break. I feel inadequate because, even though I didn’t get a lot of info growing up about finances, I wish I was further along for my son. He deserves to not have to survive. That’s what we did. We survived.... now that I don’t have to do that anymore, I want to make sure that surviving is taught as a skill and not as a lifestyle. Then there are the times when the crying gets to me, or when I constantly have to watch him because he could fall, or not being able to just pick up and go when I need to. It sometimes takes me 3 hours to get out the door if we have somewhere to be.... it’s a lot. I’m honestly grateful that my husband and I we’re friends before we dated because it literally takes prayer and a sense of humor to get through it sometimes. I’m not complaining, I love being a mom, it just takes a lot. Especially with all of the other things I have to take care of. That’s why I said Christ is my answer. God is the only thing keeping this ship running smoothly. I honestly don’t know where we would be without God. I sometimes drop the ball as wife, I make mistakes and my husband love me through them.
At the end of the day. I am me. A woman who loves God, minds her business, and does her best to serve her family (with a little me time in between). I don’t know if I will ever measure up to her (Proverbs 31 woman), but I do fall back on to the last 2 verses in the chapter:
“Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing, But a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised. Give her of the fruit of her hands, And let her own works praise her in the gates.”
I am a boss, I am imperfect, I am me. I will do my best, and no one can take that from me. The fruit will speak for itself. Period.
If you like today’s post please like, comment and share it. Also follow me on my socials. I would love to connect with you!